February 2013

Spamatrocities

Here are two exciting products that will widen your SPAM horizons. In their secrect laboratories underneath Minnesota, the Spammers have created extensions to their product range that will make your most atrocious dreams come true:  

Nescafé – The Perfect Barbecue Drink

Nescafé – The Perfect Barbecue Drink thumbnail
Now what do you think is the best drink to go with sizzling steaks and hamburgers from the grill or succulent meat from the barbecue smoker? Coke? Bud Light? Beer? No, you’re so wrong. Of course it is coffee! Actually it is a mix of equal parts pure soluble coffee and pure carbohydrates. Simply irresistible.

German Caviar

German Caviar thumbnail
You can still buy it today, but especially in the 1960s and 1970s cheap lumpfish caviar was very popular in Germany as a substitute for the hideously expensive sturgeon caviar. For that touch of mock luxury in your home. I got hold of a 1970 recipe brochure issued by Christensen, a major producer of German [...]

Steak With Jello

Steak With Jello thumbnail
The common jello salad is a dish on its own, its visual appearance makes it the star of the dinner table. But how about serving jello as a side? This colourful mix of orange jello and congealed creamed applesauce is just perfect to go with your steak dinner. And why not put in on top [...]

Mexican TV Dinner

Mexican TV Dinner thumbnail
Montezuma's revenge in three different flavours, made in the U. S. A. for American tastes and cooked in spotless kitchens under U.S. Government supervision.

Glamorous Barf’n'Worms

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Why is it that so much of the 1950s/1960s food looks like vomit? I And what are those curly things at the left? They look alive. Regardless of what the caption says: Don’t try to do this at home!

German Dairy Fun

German Dairy Fun thumbnail
Recently I came across a recipe book issued in 1963 by a German association for the promotion of dairy products. It has quite a few pictures in varying levels of grossness; here is the top of the crop: Variations on a popular theme – Triple barf-in-a-basketTM, called ‘sauerkraut salads’ here, served with golf balls. What [...]

The Frankfurter Crown Roast

The Frankfurter Crown Roast thumbnail
A proper crown roast is an impressive – some might say barbaric with all those bones sticking out – sight on a table. It is a show-off piece that demonstrates that you want to serve high class food to your guests – provided you are able to cook it properly. Here we have a particularly [...]
Whales, Seals And Horses – Or What Is An Atrocity Anyway? thumbnail
Please allow me to interrupt the flow of jello salads and other monstrosities to reflect on some more serious aspects of the concept of culinary atrocities and food taboos. In “Wir kochen gut”, an East German cookbook from the early 1960s I found a section devoted to whale meat: This does look rather weird in [...]

The Jello Salad Candle

The Jello Salad Candle thumbnail
Just when you think you have seen it all, something new comes along… The creativity wasted on jello salads never ceases to amaze me.   A jello salad from cranberries, nuts and maynonnaise is already pretty gross. Sticking in a candle to create a festive mood is brining this to yet another level. I wonder [...]