“Sometimes you’ll go to a pizza place
You go to shakey’s to get that American kind of pizza
That has the ugly, waxey, fake yellow
Kind of cheese on the top…
Maybe you’ll go to straw hat pizza,
To get all those artificial ingredients
That never belonged on a pizza in the first place
(but the white people really like it…)”
Frank Zappa – The Blue Light
I admit that I am spoilt by good Italian food. Munich is sometimes called “Italy’s northernmost town”, and high quality authentic Italian food is no problem to find. So I was pretty shocked when I first saw the Chef Boy-Ar-Dee ads for their pizza mix that feature ‘ethnic’ toppings.
Granted, there are some Michelin-starred chefs who make fantastic fusion cuisine, but on the home-cooking level things can become disastrous pretty quickly.
Sauerkraut, sausage and caraway seeds – a perfectly authentic German dish dumped on a wheel of pizza dough and pizza sauce. I guess this invokes some degree of disgust even if you are not German. Other suggestions are ‘Polynesian’ with ham (Spam?) and pineapples and ‘Indian’ with curry chicken, nuts and raisins. Yuck. Next please.