Ethnic/Fusion

Mexican TV Dinner

TV dinners are undisputably one of mankinds greatest inventions. Countless mariages have been saved by the possibility to dine and watch football simultaneously. Even exotic meals are readily available.

mexican_tv_dinner

Montezuma’s revenge in three different flavours, made in the U. S. A. for American tastes and cooked in spotless kitchens under U.S. Government supervision.

Vómito Mexicano

After yesterday’s burrito pizza why not carry on with Mexican fusion cuisine, 1970s style.

enchillada

Anyone unfamiliar with Mexican food may come to the conclusion here that an “Enchilada” is a slice of bread that has been thrown up upon. Please figure out the consituents yourself while I try to suppress my gag reflex.

fish_tacos

Anyone unfamiliar with Mexican food may come to the conclusion here that a “Taco” is a slice of bread that has been thrown up upon. Wait a minute. Wasn’t that an “Enchilada”? Perhaps the two differ by the time between ingestion and discharge. The raw shredded cabbage here is still completely intact.

Those Weight Watcher’s recipe cards have been circulating on the net for quite a while. Credits go to the excellent Bad and Ugly of Retro Food blog where many of these are presented in high-res scans.

Fusion Pizza

“Sometimes you’ll go to a pizza place
You go to shakey’s to get that American kind of pizza
That has the ugly, waxey, fake yellow
Kind of cheese on the top…
Maybe you’ll go to straw hat pizza,
To get all those artificial ingredients
That never belonged on a pizza in the first place
(but the white people really like it…)”

Frank Zappa – The Blue Light

I admit that I am spoilt by good Italian food. Munich is sometimes called “Italy’s northernmost town”, and high quality authentic Italian food is no problem to find. So I was pretty shocked when I first saw the Chef Boy-Ar-Dee ads for their pizza mix that feature ‘ethnic’ toppings.

Granted, there are some Michelin-starred chefs who make fantastic fusion cuisine, but on the home-cooking level things can become disastrous pretty quickly.

german_pizza

Sauerkraut, sausage and caraway seeds  – a perfectly authentic German dish dumped on a wheel of pizza dough and pizza sauce. I guess this invokes some degree of disgust even if you are not German. Other suggestions are ‘Polynesian’ with ham (Spam?) and pineapples and ‘Indian’ with curry chicken, nuts and raisins. Yuck. Next please.

chinese_pizzaYes, Asians love pizza too. Shrimps, water chestnuts, peas, bean sprouts, chives and soy sauce are just the perfect match for tomato. Help yourself to the additional suggestions, I’ve had enough.

burrito_mexican_pizza2But if you are still hungry, you can try a slice of the award-winning “Burrito Mexitalian Pizza”.

Mrs. Pat Boone And Her Electric Wok

electric_wok

Beef Oriental – What an inventive name. Attributing this dish to a specific cuisine would require is to solve the riddle where the hell in the East spiral pasta is a major source of carbohydrates. What else is in there? Tomatoes, beans, green celery, chamipgnon mushrooms and a pound of hamburger. This definitely points to Little Italy as easternmost possible provenance region.