I’ll have a side of sexism with that

Here is a different kind of culinary atrocity. I have German recipe book from the late 1960s called “Das Gästeverwerwöhnbuch” (The Pamper-Your-Guests Book). It has all kinds of reicpes for all kinds of situations when you have guests. The recipes are actually pretty good, often inspired by classic French cuisine and cooked from scratch which is quite a difference to other books of that period.

There is also a chapter about rendez-vous and what best to serve the woman of your dreams. It also includes this ‘light-hearted’ butcher’s chart for a female homo sapiens:

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Back in the days, such was not considered offensive. Men have always been hunters and gatherers, and after the successful hunt the prey was to be butchered.

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Monterey Soufflé

Anyone who knows at least a little about cooking and baking will know that a soufflé is an egg-based dish that increases in size considerably when baked in an oven. But ‘soufflé’ has also become a euphemisim for a jello salad, probably because of the shape which is pretty different from a baked soufflé anyway.

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This concoction features tuna in gelified mayonnaise – a particularly gruesome atrocity. If you are courageous enough to read the recipe, you will learn that the mayo is generously delayed with water, for that extra minus of taste.

Optical presentation is lovingly executed with cute pimiento strips snuggling around the voluptious curves of the blob, the green salad leaves creating an intriguing contrast. The mandatory stuffed olive sitting on top of the central barf adds another dash of colour.

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Spam’n Limas

This ad features an ever-popular atrocious ingredient: SPAM!

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Strikingly enhanced by the opponently coloured monster beans this shocking arrangement can serve as an efficient test of our gag reflex.

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As much as it is fun to look at culinary atrocities of decades gone by, we should not forget that also in modern times there are plenty of them. The creativity of food companies is endless.

pancake_sausageFluffy pancake dough sprinkled with chocolate chips and then wrapped around a sausage, this chimera of pancake, hot dog and popsicle requires serious courage to ingest. I wonder if this goes well with mustard.

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Barfy Cottage Cheese Omelet

Not one but two drunks have relieved themselves here over this puffy omelet after what must have been a hell of a party.

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The Jello Salad

To begin the parade of culinary atrocities there can only be one dish: The jello salad. Born in the mid 20th century in the United States, it was particularly popular in the South. And there are rumours that such things are still made in a number of households.

000pdh72Crisp raw vegetables in gooey gelatin – what a delight. This one even has crunchy walnuts in it. It looks too good to eat, so better don’t do it. But you ain’t seen nothing yet…

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